Chapter 20

The room was dark and everything was quiet.
I was looking up to the ceiling and thought about everything that happened over the last years and months.

There was this girl. Older than me. She looked so beautiful.
Her name was Fujimoto Miki. I thought she could be a rival for me…but it didn’t take long and we became friends.
We were quite different. But we matched perfectly.

I remember our first sleepover. Gosh, I was really nervous. She grew to be someone special in my heart.
I tried my best to make everything perfect. I even did a checklist with things. It was really crazy.
When the doorbell rang I quickly ran to the door and opened it and shouted out a nervous “Helloo!~”
My reaction has confused her so much that I blushed. I thought my face would start burning in any minute.
But when she giggled I relaxed.
“Everything ok?” she asked and stepped into my apartment.
“Sure! E-everything is alright! Would you like to play some games?”
I know it was a silly question but I was still a kid somehow at that time!
And so things went on and on… I lost one game after another and was quite pissed off but I showed it in a jokey way.
My mother came in sometimes and asked if we need something. That was so kind of her.
I remember that she had to calm me down very often that day.
But my nervousness was gone so sudden.
I enjoyed the evening so much.

Sleepovers got to a routine for us. First we tried to do it every week but when we grew older and had more work to do they got less.
But that didn’t change anything in our friendship.
I remember that some members were a little bit jealous of us.
Somehow we always stand out from the crowd.
But that changed as well.
I went on with my solo career but Miki decided to join Morning Musume.
I was quite surprised at first that she would give her solo career up, but as long as she was happy everything was fine by me.

Years passed and our friendship grew stronger.
There were times were we piss each other off and fight but without it it would be strange, wouldn’t it?
I loved it.
And since GAM everything changed.
I discovered a side of her I didn’t know yet.
A side that felt more for me than friendship…
I never have seen it. I ignored everything she felt at that time.
And then when she hid her feelings deep inside her heart I grew to love her.
I felt strange. Really strange.
We went thru so much trouble at that time.
There were many moments where I wanted to tell her what I feel.
And then, when we were on Hawaii, I put my strength together and told her that I love her.
I was scared. I remember that I had covered her body with sand so she wouldn’t be able to hit me…
But she managed to get free…and kissed me back…
My mind was exploding at that moment!
The feelings she hid came back.
I was the happiest woman on earth…
We were together. That was all I wanted. To have the woman I love beside me.
Miki and I began to touch us in other ways than before and it felt really good.
And then… Everything collapsed. My whole world was turned upside down, when she began to ignore me. I couldn’t stand it! I was sick worried. And even worse I didn’t know that she was dating someone. But not on her own will… Everything was decided by her parents… I had to believe her. I had no other choice and I felt that she was telling the truth…

And now? I’m lying here besides her. She’s sleeping peacefully and plays in her dream world. What is going to happen from now on? There is so much trouble…scandals about her and Shoji. How should she get them straight again? Will she lose her job? Will she ever be able to get back to a normal life? Will her parents accept her decision being with me? Does she even want to tell them about us?
There are so many questions…But I love her and I will help her. And when she loves me she will accept my help.
“Mhh…Aya-chan…? Why are you awake?” I felt Miki shifting nearer to me.
I turned to her and let out a little sigh, “I just couldn’t sleep well. There are things in my head that are driving me a bit crazy…”
I could tell, even when it was dark, that she looked worried.
She caressed my cheek with her hand, “I know it’s hard…but I really want to fix it all. I will do everything. I will sort out everything. I promise you.”
“But what will happen? Will you lose your job, Shoji, will he be up to something…your parents…”
She tugged her arms around me and hugged me tight, “Please trust me. I will do everything to make things better. Everything what is good for you and for me. I love you so much and I don’t want to lose you. I nearly had.”
I never felt so comfortable. It made my heart beat faster. I will do this…I will trust her. One last time. Maybe it’s a bad decision but I have no other choice…My heart tells me to do this.
I returned her hug and kissed her.
Tears were dropping onto her soft skin. My tears. But after she felt them she began to cry as well and our tears mixed.
The room now was filled with sobbing noises
“Ahh…what?...Let me sleep…” I moaned.
“It’s important…” Miki began shaking me.
I turned around, “Let me sleep…”
“I will fly to Takikawa this afternoon.” Miki said and kept shaking me awake.
I turned around and looked at her confused, “What?”
She just nodded.
“Why?” I asked and sat up.
“I want to tell them. About me and you…” she said quietly hard to understand.
“You really…? You really want to do it?” I asked and took her hand.
She nodded again, “Even if I won’t be their daughter anymore or they will hate me for the rest of their life’s. But I need to do this. I want to stop this.”
“I will come with you.” I said and stroked her cheek.
“You don’t have to… I don’t want you to get in trouble.” She replied and took my hand with hers.
“Well they would come to Tokyo then and haunt me. So it doesn’t matter if they would kill me in Hokkaido or here. “I laughed.
Miki smiled a little.
“Miki-chan, I will come with you.”
She just nodded.

We will do this together no matter what. Maybe I we will get their blessing. If not it doesn’t matter. Miki showed me that she takes it serious right now.
We can do it!

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